When the vibrancy of Lahore is replaced by the coziness of a summer night in July, a certain feeling may arise in the minds of many- a feeling that we are but a small entity in one big family: the world. We drift along the streams of family, work and social demands and the course is set to a collective measure. However, in this co-existence, another sort of desire usually creeps in, a desire to go against the current, to perform a journey which is wholly one, to find the power that is on the opposite side of fear. It should be seen as a beginning of a journey which is not so much geographical but rather personal alchemy. It is the mind base choice of taking the lead to appreciate the strength of traveling by oneself.
It is important to view solo traveling as something of the kind of embracing power; not a vacation and something that will change. It is a dynamic, purposeful attempt to face your restraints, build resilience and make a purposeful claim on the story of your life. The power is not something, which you can discover at a destination; it is something you are releasing in yourself via the process itself, the journey. It is not only to the experienced traveller or the brave extravert. It is a way that can be taken by anyone who at some point felt that still but persistent urge towards something more, something greater. This adventure is the manual to realize and unlock the unique forces that traveling alone can give to those strong enough to respond to its siren appeal, the power of choice, the power of being on your own, the power of not relying on anyone and the power of a world that has been rewritten in your own words.
The Strength of The Decision: Your Very First Move of Courage
It is not the moment you come out of the plane that you start your journey of embracing your power, it is the hushed electric moment when you decide to turn on the plane. It is the time when your cursor stops on the button where you want to confirm your booking, and the choir of what ifs emerges in your head. What will happen in case I become lonely? What happens when it is not safe? What is going to people think?* It is the first dragon you have to kill, to liberate yourself, and the decision to do it anyway is the first, and drastic, step of bravery.
The decision is a strong statement of advisement. In a life full of compromise and thinking of others it may be a radical act to plan and book a trip just to yourself and worthy as a person. You are teaching yourself (and the world), that you are allowed to grow, you are allowed to want to learn, you are allowed to be happy. What you are doing is that you are taking out of the passive position of a dreamer, one who says I wish I could, you are taking into the active position of an architect, that one who only designs the adventure he himself goes upon. This transition of thinking is radical. Once you make a commitment, you will start drawing your own story, this time when it is no longer about hesitation but acts.
This is where the empowerment shall start as one confronts the fears that surround this choice. Each safety issue that is well researched, each travel insurance policy that you buy, each plan that is made in detail of how you will spend your first night, is a matter of taking control. You do not disregard the dangers, you counter it by being intelligent and prepared. You are showing yourself that fear is not a stop sign; it is a map, a road sign to the places that you need to learn and improve your confidence. This is the first stage of planning and commitment part of training, a micro-world of the whole experience itself. By packing the bags the task that might have seemed to be impossible at some point is won, and you have finally proved yourself, that you can follow a weird dream into a vision of real life.
The Spirit of the Lonely – Making Your own Inner World
As soon as the journey has begun, you are given its highest valued and, perhaps, feared commodity: solitude. The uninterrupted being alone is the luxury of the hyper-connected world. The idea of embracing its power is not that you should wait to hold out the time by yourself; it is not whether you should wait out time by yourself, on the contrary, it is shaping your inner world, unconditionally free of incoming outside noise and opinion.
When you are in the company of others you are not the sole gatekeeper of your mind. You are in charge of all your inputs. You are then able to read the book that you never got to finish, listen to albums without skipping to the next tune, or even to just walk without listening to the thoughts of others but rather to the ones of your own brewing to the surface. It is an exclusive chance to carry out a mental de cluttering. And once you no longer have to entertain people on a regular basis and are no longer under the pressure to talk all the time, you can start to tell better the difference between your own genuine ideas and the messages the society has put into your mind.
Loving the magic of solitude implies transforming it into an act of deep observation. It is an opportunity to exercise mindfulness muscle. You can choose to pay conscious attention to the world around you in a way that is new: the light in the morning on the old stones of a temple, the richness of the melody of spices in a fresh bowl of noodles on the street, the honesty in the smile of someone you have never met. This habit takes a non-relational state of absence, that is, absence of other people, and turns it into a state of full relations. It is not that you are alone but rather you are well absorbed into your surroundings.
Journaling is an essential instrument in the mastering of this energy. A journal is not an ordinary diary of what happens to the solo traveler; it is an excellent tool of self-discovery and a mobile therapist. It is where you will allow yourself to ask challenging questions, offer a reflection of what you have gone through in the day thus getting to express your fears, as well as your victories. It is the place where all the ambiguous moods and illusional ideas of the day can be recorded and analyzed and out of it there issues something that you would not have realized. By doing this written conversation with yourself you can chart your change as well yourself, making this inner process as concrete and vivid as the outer one.
How to Build an Indestructible Self-confidence
Hardest times of a solo journey are not a hindrance, those are the points where iron-strong confidence is made. Energy to self-reliance implies that you go all out and face these challenges and realize that there is a fount of ability in you that you might never have imagined you had. This cycle can be termed as competence loop. You are confronted by a tiny problem (working out the metro system in an unfamiliar city), you find the solution, and this boost in confidence makes you enjoy life. This gained inner-strength gives you the confidence to pursue a little bit bigger challenge and you are back to square one but on the next loop it gets bigger than the last.
What is important about this is to be your own safety net. Taking personal control of your security engulfs the feeling of empowerment. It takes your thinking of being in fear to being prepared and conscious. You also learn to read better situations and people. You train yourself to be aware of your environment and learn to go with your gut, that gut feeling that tells you that something is not right on a particular street or situation. That is not paranoia, but rather the development of a relaxed set of confidence which lets you operate in the world instead of being enclosed in the world, which has a history of letting you move more freely and more assured with yourself since you know you are your best first line of defense.
This authority goes as far as financial independence. It is a strong challenge to learn to manage your own budget on the road, to make daily choices of what makes it worth spending money on, and to be in control of your financial well-being. You get to understand that what a person spends money on is not what is valuable. You are more resourceful and you enjoy simple cheap things. It has the beneficial long-term side effect that when you experience success at managing your finances within a new country, it develops in you a feeling of financial competence and independence long after the travel ends. The self-reliance which comes out of this absolute self-reliance is not non-snooty; it is a inner-peace, inner knowledge that no matter what comes your way you are capable of facing them inside yourself.
There is no better power than that of being able to change your own opinion forever by traveling alone. The experience will serve as a chisel, getting rid of the assumptions, prejudices and narrow perceptions that you will have developed over a lifetime.
Nothing could beat a straight, personal experience as a counter to the stereotypes supported in the news headlines and on social networks. When you sit down to eat with a family in a place that you were warned was dangerous, or when someone you have never met before gives you some food which you are in need of in a city which it is said is unfriendly then the simplistic narratives collapse. On a physical, kinesthetic level, you are taught that the world is a far more complicated, regional, and an overall benevolent place as compared to what you are made to think. You witness a common humanity which unites all of us, a fact that helps to create a stronger feeling of empathy and international citizenship.
Personally, being presented with unpredictable new situations on a regular basis develops an effective muscle of adaptability. You are more patient when things do not go your way, you become more open-minded, and less scared of not knowing. You are taught to abandon the helicopter parenting habit of having everything on tight control and have fun in the diversion. This newly gained flexibility will be probably one of the most useful skills which you carry home with you and you will be stronger and more elegant facing the unavoidable obstacle of everyday life.
And last, but not least, solo travel could transform your whole idea of home. You discover that belonging has nothing to do with belonging to a certain geographical find. Home is a thing that you can experience in you, it is the ability to find peace and satisfaction in being and in solitude. You understand that you can get that sense of being home, sitting on a street in Prague, in front of a scenic hiking trail in Peru or in your living room. You take a part of your home with yourself and this strong realization gives you a sense of belonging in any place.
It is an unspoken decision to get on a platform and become the only performer, director and the audience when deciding to travel alone. It is an adventure that starts out as the brave determination to travel takes you, grows stronger through the conscious of utilizing aloneness, and becomes stabilized in the confidence gained in complete self reliance. It is a lifetime investment with emotional returns that yield in empathy, strength, and the complete enhancement of world perspectives.
It is certainly not one of those trips, but a school of a stronger, purposeful and self-possessed life. Nobody comes back to be the same person that left. They come back with a calmer mind, a stronger spirit and a deeper perception of the world and their own specific place in it. When you get that urge, that feeling that is the silent call, that tug of some kind, you should not discredit it. Accept it as what it is, and invitation. I suppose it is an invitation to pass the threshold, to face your fears and to accept the amazing power that lies ahead of you.
